This week on Myopia Movie, we complete our worst of the previous year month with a movie that no one wanted, and no one liked, we saw Borderlands, a movie that not only lost $114 million of a $145 million budget (excluding advertising), it was delayed for three years and this was still the best they could come up with. 

How will Borderlands hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Alex

This week we continue the Worst of the Previous Year for Oscars Month and are baffled by a stupid movie, whose book is somehow worse. We watched Argylle, the worse the script, the dumber the lie. 

How will Argylle hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matt, Zack

This week we continue with the worst of the previous year and talk about yet another disappointment from the Sony Spider-Man Universe, Madame Web.

How will Madame Web hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Keiko, Matthew

Directed by S.J. Clarkson

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O’Connor, Tahar Rahim, Mike Epps, Emma Roberts,  Adam Scott

This week on Myopia Movies, in honor of the Academy Awards this week, we are covering some of the worst, weirdest, and biggest disasters of the previous year. This week we start with Francis Ford Coppola’s vivid, but baffling ‘Fable’ Megalopolis. We’re all going to the cluuuuuubbbbbb!

How will Megalopolis hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Alex, Matthew, Keiko

Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola

Welcome to Myopia Movies, after that brief diversion to celebrate 500 episodes, we turned to Robin Hood: Men in Tights, I mean, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. I guess American Robin Hoods don’t even need to try accents…you know what? It is for the best. 

This week on Myopia Movies, we’re celebrating a milestone—500 episodes! To honor the journey, we’re going back to a movie that came out just as we were starting and talking about the Turtles. This time, though, we are covering the 2014 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, produced by Michael Bay, which came out while we were starting. It’s awful, it’s outrageous, and surprisingly adult for what was a kids’ movie. So, for this special episode, we’re doing something different: a syncable commentary, just like on the old CineProv Patreon. We will count off the film and tell you when to hit play. Whether you’re watching along (it was on Amazon Prime when we recorded) or just listening, we’re here to have fun, make jokes, and share in the absurdity. Thank you for supporting us through 500 episodes—we appreciate you!

How will Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) hold up? 

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Daniel, Matthew, and Keiko

Happy Valentines Day! That means cheesy rom-coms! This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the danger of print media! We watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, or How to Troll Your Partner. We will talk horrible SOs, ruining basketball, and naming your penis! 

Welcome to Myopia Movies, where we rewatch the films of our youth to see if they stand the test of time—or if nostalgia was lying to us! This week, we’re diving into 1989’s Look Who’s Talking, the baby-powered comedy that made us all wonder what our infants were really thinking. With John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, and Bruce Willis as the voice of a wisecracking newborn, this movie was a box office hit—but does it still charm in 2024, or is it just baby babble? Strap in your car seats, folks—we’re about to find out!

Welcome to Myopia Movies, the podcast where we revisit the films of our youth to see if they hold up under the lens of nostalgia—or crumble under the weight of time! This week, we’re plunging headfirst into the campy chaos of 1984’s Ice Pirates. With space herpes, robot pirates, and a desert-dry water crisis, this sci-fi comedy is equal parts swashbuckling adventure and ‘80s absurdity. But does it still have treasure hidden beneath its dated special effects, or has it been lost in the black hole of bad cinema? Strap in, mateys, and let’s find out!

Welcome back to Myopia Movies the show where we boldly go—wait, wrong franchise—where we dive headfirst into the galaxy far, far away! And today, we’re talking about Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back, the movie that taught us three very important lessons:

1) Always check if someone’s your dad before you start a fight,

2) Tauntauns may smell bad, but they’re lifesavers, and

3) Never kiss your sibling—even if you don’t know they’re your sibling.

That’s right! We’re breaking down the movie where the good guys lose, the bad guys win, and we’re left screaming, ‘LUKE, DON’T DO IT!’ louder than Darth Vader in a parenting seminar. So grab your lightsabers, bundle up for Hoth, and let’s jump into the movie that made us all question our family trees and our ability to trust small green swamp creatures!”