Podcast

This week on Myopia Movies, we lace up our roller skates and journey back to the glitter-soaked fever dream that is Xanadu. Join us as we watch Olivia Newton-John and a surprisingly spry Gene Kelly sing and skate their way through a plot so thin you could roller disco right through it. We’ll break down the movie’s mix of Greek muses, neon lights, and baffling dance numbers, and ask the burning question: Is this a cult classic or just a 96-minute music video that got wildly out of hand? Grab your glow sticks, because this is one trip to Xanadu you won’t soon forget.

How will Xanadu hold up?

Host: Charlie Rose

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nic

This week on Myopia Movies, we dive into the dark, brooding, and oh-so-edgy world of Constantine. Marvel as Keanu Reeves chain-smokes his way through a film that somehow mixes theology, horror, and noir into a cocktail of supernatural shenanigans. Join us as we explore why this movie’s take on angels and demons is as subtle as a sledgehammer and why it’s the cult classic you love to hate—or hate to love.

How will Constantine hold up? 

Host: Nic

This Week on Myopia Movies: We Dive into the Prehistoric Puzzler, “We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story”

Join us as we unearth the cinematic fossil that is “We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story,” where the idea of dinosaurs roaming modern New York City is somehow not the most unbelievable part. This week, we’re peeling back the layers of this animated onion, revealing that beneath the surface, it’s just more onion. Witness the mind-bending reality where dinosaurs wear clothes, eat hot dogs, and avoid existential dread by singing. Bring your paleontology hats and a healthy dose of disbelief, because we’re about to find out how a Rex with tiny arms manages more emotional depth than some of our guest stars.

How will We’re Back! hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko and Kellie

Directored by Phil Nibbelink, Simon Wells, Dick Zondag
Starring: John Goodman, Charles Fleischer, Blaze Berdahl, Rhea Perlman, Jay Leno, Felicity Kendal, Walter Cronkite, Julia Child, Kenneth Mars, Yeardley Smith, Martin Short

This week we watch Disney’s first attempt at a superhero picture, Iron Man fights the Nazi’s! We watched The Rocketeer, the movie that shows the dangers of alcohol. 

How will The Rocketeer hold up? 

Host: Daniel

Panel: Matthew, Lauren, Charlie. 

Directed by Joe Johnston

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a remake, that was not asked for, not needed, missed the point, but boldly had Night Vision! We watched Rollerball (2002) and saw Rebecca Romjin naked in a PG 13 Movie as the director of Die Hard imagines the horrors of 2005! 

How will Rollerball (2002) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Nur

Welcome to Myopia Movies, this week we wish there was mo Emilio! We watched Mighty Ducks 3, the search for more money. 

How will Mighty Ducks 3 hold up? 

Host: Nic

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a family film about dog fighting! We watched Pokemon: The First Movie, a film about GMOs, Euthanasia, and power no children should have. 

How will Pokemon: The First Movie hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Alex, Keiko, and Nur

Directed by Kunihiko Yuyama
Starring Veronica Taylor, Rachael Lillis, Eric Stuart, Rica Matsumoto

This week on Myopia Movies, we are traumatized by another movie about flying by the director of Air Force One. Join us for childhood changing moments with The NeverEnding Story!

How will The NeverEnding Story hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Kellie, Jon, Daniel.

Directed by Wolfgang Petersen

This week we call the exterminator and do a deep cleaning. We finish Quinntober with the Guillermo del Toro creature feature Mimic (1997). The movie that has makes us afraid of CDC efforts to end malaria. 

How will Mimic (1997) hold up?

Host: Matthew 

Welcome by to a Quinntober Episode of Myopia! We are talking about the bespandexed and coweled Indiana Batman knock-off, The Phantom! 

How will The Phantom hold up? 

Host: Matthew

Panel: Nic and Candace, and Nur(?)